It deserves an annotation. It is a habit. A default. A go-to thing to say. Exclamation, not an excavation. I could be exploring but I choose to say things like this instead. The spoken word is rough. If I didn't like to talk so much, I wouldn't have these defaults. Maybe. If that's how language works. If that's how we've wired the brain to deal with it, or how the brain has wired us to deal with it (the brain). I try to retire phrases when I am so conscious of them they make me sick to say them. If am conscious then I have control. I potentially have control. I can control the workings of the mouth.
Recently retired phrases I hope:
I should probably think about retiring douchebag because it has grown too powerful. Or grille or the other ways I attempt to satirize myself attempting to sound street. I haven't even seen 8 Mile so I can't really talk.
But I like to bring some of this detritus into poems. Daniel Nester had a great yo mama joke sestina, or so the brain seems to tell itself. It's not Googleable. That's sad. That means that it may not exist. That means that I might not exist even and not even know it. At least I know enough to be aware that it's a possibility.